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Gwen’s Little Spot

The mental scribblings and daily doings of one transgender woman, writer, and activist, with content somehow deemed good enough to win a 2004 “Queery“ award.

Thursday, July 31, 2003

Posted: 1:56:00 PM

Thanks to my sis for this one:

Gwendolyn is the #264 most common female name.
0.074% of females in the US are named Gwendolyn.
Around 94350 US females are named Gwendolyn!
source namestatistics.com.

“Gwen” was #451. It’s just a shortening of my name (above) anyway.

(I perhaps shouldn’t also mention that it also spit out this: “Gwendolyn is a very rare male name. Very few men in the US are named Gwendolyn. Be proud of your unique name!” It doesn’t matter —�but it is funny.)

And furthermore...

Smith is the #1 most common last name.
1.006% of last names in the US are Smith.
Around 2515000 US last names are Smith!
source namestatistics.com.

Should I start chanting “We’re Number One!” about now? Given that my family changed it’s last name only about three generations or so back, (from the #35 most common last name, Adams), I’ll not start cheering yet. ;-)

Cheers,
Gwen

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Posted: 10:00:00 AM

I sure didn’t elect this guy to represent me:

“I’m mindful that we are all sinners and I caution those who may try to take the speck out of their neighbor’s eye when they got a log in their own. I think it’s very important for our society to respect each individual, to welcome those with good hearts, to be a welcoming country.”

“On the other hand, that does not mean that somebody like me needs to compromise on issues such as marriage.”

“I believe a marriage is between a man and a woman, and I think we ought to codify that one way or the other. And we’ve got lawyers looking at the best way to do that.”

Hey Bush: talk to the producers of crap-assed television shows about marrying strangers at the whim of the American public before you start talking about issues like my marriage.

Cheers,
Gwen

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Posted: 8:42:00 AM

First off, a quick note.

If you sent me e-mail in the last, oh, 10 hours, I may not have gotten it. I was futzing with the e-mail settings on the server and made a boo boo. It should be all better now. I dread to think of how much mail I might have missed in the interim, as this mailbox is typically very busy. I can only estimate about 200-300 were lost. Granted some of that bulk is spam, and I won’t miss that —�but I will miss the real notes for sure.

On the plus side, it made what is typically a half-hour to hour job in the morning into very short work.

On, and a correction on the below praying mantis story: Spot is a girl. At least she is by doing what one can to “sex” a mantid (counting the abdomen bands). I didn’t ask what her gender identity is.

Anyway, it turns out we have two of ‘em out there, and we were looking at the “wrong” one last night. I’ll call the second one “Elvis,” and wonder if anyone out there will get the rather obscure reference.

The fun, of course, is that we now know we’ve a boy mantis and a girl mantis. Which means if I hear a little Barry White in the garden some night, I’ll know that the male will be losing his head soon — and we’ll have a new generation in the spring.

Note to the curious: “mantid” is not a typo. It is the more “correct” term rather than “mantis,” but either is OK. For the real “anal,” I am referring to Phylum, Arthropoda; Class, Insecta; Order, Mantodea.

Note to C.S.: Do you recall the mnemonic for phylum, class, order, family, genus, species? I’m afraid I do. That and the mnemonic for denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. ;-)

Note for those wondering why “Elvis:” Not you-know-who or this guy, but him.

Cheers,
Gwen

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Wednesday, July 30, 2003

Posted: 10:57:00 PM

We have a new friend.

For about a week, we’ve had a praying mantis out in our garden, patrolling the amaranth, yarrow, and catnip.

He’s (he is a male: we checked. Really.) very pale in color, almost a straw yellow. With a couple black and white spots. Hence, unlike previous mantid friends, he is not called “Elvis,” but (‘natch) “Spot.”

For those who have not spent any time around such bugs, these do get pretty large. Though Spot is not the biggest I’ve seen, he is still about 6" in length.

Mantids are also interesting to watch, as they will watch you back. Their heads move very fluidly (more than most other bugs I’ve known) and it does allow you to really note when they are watching you. That can actually be kinda creepy in a way.

I think Spot’s here ‘cuz we’ve raised so many mantids in our past gardens. I think these insects must be seeking us out by now. That and I’m sure there are plenty of aphids and other buggies for him to munch on.

Cheers,
Gwen

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Posted: 5:18:00 PM

Well, it’s official now, so I guess I should mention it here.

I will be speaking in Columbus, Ohio on November 15, 2003, courtesy of Ohio State University.

I am also in negotiations with two other universities, and will mention it here if/when it all works out.

I’ve not yet made any plans for the “Gwen Smith 2003 Fall Tour” T-shirts.

And heck, because this is a short post, here’s a couple fun links. Well, two fun ones, and one that is just disturbing (and not safe for work!).

Stupid Warning Labels

Battleship (requires Flash)

Keds Masturbation Manual

Cheers,
Gwen

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Tuesday, July 29, 2003

Posted: 11:04:00 AM

demonstration pix

Two pix from the demonstration the other day. I really should have taken more, especially of us lining up with the signs in front of the courthouse. Oh, well.

Anyway, the one to the left is, of course, Bonnie. She’s holding Gwen in this photo, which Sylvia Guerrero, Gwen’s mom, let us have during the event.

To the right is some of the aftermath of the demonstration, showing some of our stalwart attendees, some of Gwen’s family (that’s Sylvia to the left of the photo, in a dark blouse), and the good folks from NBC 11, including reporter Linton Johnson (to the right, in jacket and tie).

To anyone who still might think that this is an rare event, these anti-trans murders, let me note that I’ve been informed of three deaths since last Monday.

There was the death of Kendrick Perry on the 20th in Houston, the death of Gregory Johnson in Indiana on my the 22nd (two deaths in my birthday in two years), and today I was informed of Gabrielle Pickett’s death. She was killed some time last Month.

For those who may not know who Gabrielle Pickett is, she was Chanelle Pickett’s twin sister. Chanelle was murdered on November 20th, 1995.

Cheers,
Gwen

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Posted: 9:11:00 AM

Spoke with Assemblyman Mark Leno’s office yesterday. Chances look good for Assembly Bill 196, but we have to keep up the pressure. The thing that is needed most on right now is letters of support.

So, I ask those of you reading this blog to please consider going to http://capwiz.com/federationlgbt/mail/oneclick_compose/?alertid=2963001 and composing a letter in support of AB 196. Unless you happen to live outside of California, in which case still send a letter of support (you can snag a good concept for said letter at the above URL, but using the form will send it to your Governor, not CA’s), but to one of the following:

Governor Gray Davis
State Capitol Building
Sacramento, CA 95814

Phone: 916-445-2841

Fax: 916-445-4633

governor@governor.ca.gov

I sent mine in yesterday, actually before I found that handy form-generated thing. Which is probably better, even though I copped a lot of what I said from a Lambda Letters example, just personalized and such.

The Religious Right is well aware of AB 196, and is trying their best to fight it, in very ugly language.

For example, the Traditional Values Coalition said, “Make no mistake; this is about twisting the norms of nature to cater to an out of step lifestyle” and “will he (Davis) pander to the liberal left of his party for votes by signing AB 196 and have cross-dressing freaks run amuck in the state all in the name of ‘diversity’?”

Please, send a letter, and encourage your friends and family to do the same. As far as I can tell, we really do need to show our numbers in an effort to get this passed.

Cheers,
Gwen

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Thursday, July 24, 2003

Posted: 9:14:00 PM
I think I’ll consider them Birthday Gifts

Yesterday, It was determined — again — that Gwen Araujo’s accused killers will stand trial. Michael Magidson, who is considered the “key actor” in the death, continues without bail. There was a failed attempt to get it reinstated today.

I attended the courthouse today for that, and took part in a small protest of this bail hearing. There was a little television coverage from the NBC affiliate, all of which was well-presented. I’m not just saying that ‘cuz they featured me.

More from today: AB 196 passed the State Senate 23-11, and goes to Governor Davis’ desk. That will happen in just a few days. Once it is officially delivered to the Governor, he will have ten days to sign or veto it. If he has done neither of those things by the twelfth day (why the two day discrepancy, I don’t know), it becomes law without his signature.

On top of that, AB 458 — a bill to protect LGBT foster kids and LGBT foster parents and care givers from discrimination and harassment — passed the State Senate. That has to make one more go round in the Senate before it’s on his desk, though.

All good things, all good.

Cheers,
Gwen

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Posted: 10:41:00 AM
Yay!

I have a new keyboard and mouse. Finally.

So far so good. I’ve not tried to do much with it, ‘cuz it just got here, but so far it’s working really well. The mouse alone (so far) works like my old mouse hasn’t worked like in years. Smooth movin’, just like Ex-Lax.

I just hope the fornits move to the new keyboard, and spread lots of fornus.

My birthday, BTW, was fairly fun. We escaped Antioch and headed for the city, at least to cool down a bit. It gets hot out here, and is often 30 degrees over the temp of San Francisco.

We mostly window shopped in the city, hitting Old Navy (my fave — but how many red-toned shirts do I own now?), Macy’s (We still gotta get those new Fiesta colors!), and the Disney Store (disappointing nowadays). Then off to a nice birthday dinner at Houston’s on the Embarcadero.

For yuks, here’s a couple more handy links:

The top four ugliest cars on the road

Tick Tock Toys Archives & Gallery

What I’m not going to do to Little Car (though it is cool looking).

Cheers,
Gwen

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Monday, July 21, 2003

Posted: 8:45:00 PM

So, for those who would like to keep up on this blog, but find themselves annoyed by my sometimes sporadic postings, try the “Blog Change Bot.”

Only thing it seems to require is iChat, AIM, or AOL, because the ‘bot is activated via Instant Message.

All you have to do is:

1. Instant Message ScreenName “blogchangebot” in AIM, iChat, or AOL.

2. As a message, put in subscribe www.theurlyouwant.com

For this blog, just copy the line below into the window and hit return:

subscribe www.gwensmith.com/weblog/weblog.html

Oh, and if you happen to be on AIM right now, then just click this URL.

Cheers,
Gwen

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Posted: 11:57:00 AM

So my birthday is tomorrow.

I was surprised today by quite a number of cards in the ol’ mailbox. You see, typically, my mom sends out a “group card” for her, my dad, and my sister.

Not so this year.

Instead, I got a card from mom, a card from dad, and not one, but two cards from my sister. I guess she couldn’t decide which one I’d like better, and, well, I can totally understand her predicament: they were both great.

I also got a card from my in-laws, which I appreciated.

The “biggie,” though, was the one from my Grandma. As some may recall, it was only recently that she was informed of my gender transition, this having been kept from her since 1994. It was kept from her, mainly, because people were expecting her to react poorly to it. Needless to say, she reacted just fine to it.

Her card touched me. It’s message was this:

“Every woman has her own style... and being wonderful is yours.”

How could I not be moved? I mean, how cool is that?

Cheers,
Gwen

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Posted: 11:55:00 AM

I had meant to write this entry yesterday, unfortunately I ended up with a monstrous headache which, well, needed more attention than just about anything, let alone writing in my ‘blog.

The day started mostly OK, actually, with Bon and I getting up early and going to a local car show. I didn’t enter Little Car into this, as it was a “hot rod and kool cruisers”-type show, and she’s no hot rod (though I do think she’s quite “kool”).

There were a couple Nash Metropolitans — relatives of my car, at least — but they were most definitely not stock. I don’t know how they managed to put that V-8 engine in that little thing.

Lots of other nice cars there too, including one very pretty 40’s-era Buick that was beautifully restored (an oddball in this group, as it was about as original a car as was at this show). I also got to see what it looks like when a car has too much chrome on it, so now I know that Little Car is, for now, safe.

But the getting up early (including an unfortunate bout of waking up at 4:30 am), coupled with the heat outside, helped contribute to the aforementioned headache.

For obvious reasons, I opted to take it as easy as I could yesterday, and had to avoid much of my “to do” list for the day. The only thing I could not avoid was my Transmissions column, which I wrote late in the evening.

I did happen to catch yesterday’s Futurama, though. It is notable here as Bender had a “sex change” operation in it, which apparently consists of draining out the testosteroil, replacing it with femmezoil, and lopping off the antenna.

There were a few nits I could pick with the story (I mean, why is it that every trans story in the media has an element of deception behind it?), but I’m not. If anything, it was funny.

The timing was fortuitous as well — yesterday was the 3rd anniversary of another day I was sick on. The day of my own genital reassignment surgery, during which I had a bad reaction to the anesthetic, and awoke — dry heaving — back in my room. A scary time for both Bon and I.

Cheers,
Gwen

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Sunday, July 13, 2003

Posted: 10:30:00 PM

So I figure it’s about time I put something up here, and I feel like talking about my cat.

I grew up with cats, sometimes as many as a dozen around the house and yard, assuming that one of the females gave birth to a fresh litter. When Bon and I got married, we ended up in an apartment complex that did not allow pets, so bringing a feline into our life was not an option.

When we moved to the Bay Area, we also found a complex that — while they did not outright ban pets — they made such a financial burden. Nevertheless, we were only here for a few months before I feline showed up on our doorstep. The back doorstep, to be exact.

She is a ginger tabby, kinda a golden/peach color, and had the prettiest golden eyes. She stood at our back door with an expression that said, “well, here I am, are you going to let me in already?”

Our roomie spotted her outside first, and was instantly taken with her. But we knew we could not have a cat, and I admonished everyone to avoid getting attached.

Bonnie fell next, getting a bit of food out to the starving beast on our doorstep, and making a makeshift bed out of some shredded newspaper and a low cardboard box.

I remained resolute. I was not going to fall for this kitten. Nevermind if she was very friendly, and had soft fur, and — like I said — the prettiest golden eyes.

it took about a week before I finally acquiesced to letting her in, right around Thanksgiving on 1997. She gained the name Idgie, named after one of the main characters in Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe, a favorite book.

She made herself at home instantly. It was obvious that she was not your usual stray, as she was potty trained from the get-go, and extremely friendly to humans. Well, she had troubles with men at first, or, more appropriately, those who smelled of testosterone. Our friend Jerry broke her of that.

Far from that early attempt of mine to steel myself to this feline, her and I became fast friends. As I’ve long worked at home, she spent more time with me than anyone else in the house.

We’re still inseparable, and her routine is partially built around socializing with me. It’s pretty unusual behavior for a cat, given that most will hardly give you the time of day. She’ll come in and tell Bon and I when it’s time for bed, and will wit for the right moment (usually when she’s called up) to jump on the bed and snuggle in next to my, right around my left shoulder. She often serves as a de facto pillow at this point, sticking around and purring as I relax and settle in, then finding herself a spot down at the foot of the bed.

She also checks in with me throughout the day, coming by the computer and meowing. She does the same if I lie on the bed at any time during the day, checking to make sure I’m OK.

That’s another habit of hers, by the way. If you are not feeling well, or even if your laughing hard at some bit of humor, she’ll check in with you, getting close to you and meowing, making sure that you are all right.

Like I said, odd behavior for a cat.

Speaking of odd, I mentioned that she is a ginger tabby. As it turns out, ginger tabbies are male — or they are supposed to be, as the “red” color is carried on the Y chromosome. This makes her a rarity, a female ginger tabby.

It seems appropriate, an intersexed cat in a house full of transgendered folks. Perhaps it was meant to be. Add to that stories about witches’ familiars (which, contrary to modern notions, were often assumed to be “red” cats like Idgie), and, well, I do wonder why she showed up at our particular door sometimes.

I may have balked at first over having this cat in my life, but now I have a hard time imagining life without her. I hope I do not have to face that for many years to come.

Cheers,
Gwen

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Thursday, July 10, 2003

Posted: 3:58:00 PM

Some things are just plain wrong.

Case in point: www.silencethemusical.com.

Cheers,
Gwen

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Monday, July 07, 2003

Posted: 6:58:00 PM

Cthulhu Versus the Dread Smiley Face

Easily the dumbest thing I’ve seen all day. Yes, even dumber than the stuff that Michael Savage said on Saturday, and got him fired today.

More soon. Still need to put up a couple Transmissions columns.

Cheers,
Gwen

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Sunday, July 06, 2003

Posted: 6:13:00 PM
133t g33k

Sometimes, the best moments are... geek moments.

Yesterday, for example, I got the latest copy of the Rambler Reader. Now, just knowing that I get said magazine alone is enough to be considered a geek. That isn’t it, though. No, the geek moment was seeing that they printed a piece I wrote, called “The Ballad of Little Car.”

Writing for the Rambler club newsletter? That’s geeky.

It doesn’t end there, though. On the 4th, on the way down to Fisherman’s Wharf for fireworks (at which I found just an excellent place to sit that a. isn’t as crowded, b. isn’t as noisy and, c. affords an excellent view of the fireworks), Bon and I had to make a quick stop while I took photos of someone’s Metropolitan. A nice little 1961 black and white hardtop. Still, I spotted this car after seeing the roof for about half a second. I’ve a photo of it on my Rambler site. That’s geeky — but that isn’t all of it, no no.

At SF Pride, before marching for my third time with Mark Leno’s contingent (and, I note, Bon’s first time down Market Street for Pride), I got to talking to a couple of the car owners, specifically a pair of guys who had a beautiful Ford Fairlane Skyliner retractable hardtop. Aside from the overall geekiness of the fact that I know what a Ford Fairlane Skyliner retractable hardtop is in the first place, once I started talking with these guys (and showing them a photo of Little Car — yes, I carry a photo of the car with me, OK?), I find out that they also own two Ramblers (a ’61 American and a ’65 Marlin, if I remember correctly) and a pair of Metropolitans. We then talked — at length — about Rambler, the local club, and so on. Only I would manage to find Rambler people at a pride event. Geeky!

More: today, an acquaintance from the newsgroups passed me a 13MB MP3 of the background music from the Peoplemover. Ya, I’ve always had a thing for the Disney sound stuff, but an isolate music track for the Peoplemover? Think of music somewhere in the borderland between lounge and musak. Peppy and yet as fluffy as cool whip. About as substantial, too. I love it.

That’s pretty geeky.

Cheers,
Gwen

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All text copyright © Gwen Smith, not for republication without permission.


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