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Gwen’s Little Spot

The mental scribblings and daily doings of one transgender woman, writer, and activist, with content somehow deemed good enough to win a 2004 “Queery“ award.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Posted: 6:42:00 AM
Be kind, rewind!

Insanely busy on a lot of fronts right now... but here’s some friday links for you! Any theme to the below is purely unintentional.

The Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show! (Flash required)
This will make you tear up.
Who put the goat in there? (Flash required)
I’m sure everyone saw this already, but I enjoyed it. (Flash required)

Cheers,
Gwen

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Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Posted: 7:31:00 AM
“Oh my god, was that a ninja?” “More like a ‘non’-ja. Terrible what passes for a ninja these days.”

An up and down weekend, mostly highs over lows.

Things started on Friday: Bon had the previous week off, which meant I came homw to a wonderful griled chicken dinner. This was especially good after what had been an especially challenging week at the workplace. We spent much of the rest of that day staring at the walls — but it was truly all good. Sleep was needed.

Poor Little Car!Next was Saturday and, as usual, it was time for the provision run. This one had a twist, however, because when we made it to the bank I opted to check my previously re-filled tire. It was looking a bit low, again.

I had previously not found a hole during an all-too-brief examination a week or two ago, but I found it this time. If by hole, I mean the complete separation of the tread from the backside of the tire. I’m damn lucky I hadn’t faced a very serious accident. I’m also lucky that there was a tire place right across the street from El Banco de Wells Fargo.

The downside of such a pitstop is that it means a lot of sitting and waiting for repairs. They had about a two-and-a-half hour backup, which meant a bit of sitting and waiting after we'd played out the “let’s go get lunch” and “lets do some window shopping” elements. I don’t know if it was the strees of the last week coupled with the stress of the tire troubles, the fumes of fresh rubber, or just a reaction to the general punishment I put my body through, but by the time the car was de-shopped, I had a raging migraine going. I limped through the rest of our shopping day, then quickly found myself down in bed for a few hours.

This had all-but-passed by Sunday, and while a bit of the headache remained, I was determined to not let it rule the day. Bon and I had plans, you see.

BonAfter slowly making our way out of the house, he headed for BART and zipped ourselves to San Francisco. After the all important lunch and Sanrio store stops (new Hello Kitty jewelry for me, Tenorikuma plush for Bon), it was off to the Imax theater in the Meteron for a matinee showing of Speed Racer.

Wow.

That is one big, flashy movie — and even bigger and flashier on that screen. It’s not Shakespeare, but it's a heck of a fun ride. We enjoyed it.

After this it was time to head for the Embarcedro: Bon and I went to Houston’s for dinner. It’s one of our “fancy dinner” places, where we splurge a bit. You know, for special occassions. She had a rack of pork ribes, while I partook of fliet mignon. It was really nice — so nice that we left our Sanrio goodies there at the end of our meal! They're holding them for us.

FlowerIt was still fairly early, so we decided to walk back to BART. First stop was the Filbert street steps. I have firends in the area and while we did ponder stopping in on them, I was unable to reach them by phone. I’m not the sort to pop by unannounced. I did enjoy the gardens up there, though, and even caught a moment with the prettiest of purple flowers right up off Napier Lane. Simply beautiful. That photo, and the parakeet one below, are linked to bigger copies, should you wish for more detail. A lot more, in the case of the flower.

Linden LabAfter heading back down a hundred steps or so, we zig-zagged over to the Linden Lab building for a little hand lovin’. I remind you that you knew we were geeks when you signed up for this excursion, so it is too late to back out now.

And yes, I did have fun with the camera while we were out. Why do you ask?

Parrots
Anyway, it was twilight, and the Telegraph Hill parakeets were out in force. These were remnants of birds who had either excaped their owners, or were let go, many years back. They have since “gone native” and done quite well for themselves. A couple hundred birds roam the airways of SF. Here, a pair posed for me in a nearby tree. They were quite friendly.

Back home, where I learned that a friend of mine in Second Life had passed due to heart failure. Let it not be said that a virtual memorial lacks the power, emotion, and “connected-ness” of a real one.

Monday was pretty quiet, otherwise. We stayed in for the most part, with a day only punctuated with Bon grilling up some brats, and the cops having to visit the neighbors across the street again (loud car stereo plus loud car alarm being deliberately set off).

...and now, back to work.

Cheers,
Gwen

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Friday, May 23, 2008

Posted: 6:56:00 AM
I’ve altered the pool. Pray I do not alter it further.

Sorry for the quiet week! A couple boss types have been out of the office this week, which has meant that their work has “trickled down” on all us.

But how about some Friday fun, nevertheless!

Let’s begin with this asshat, a fellow who has learned two important lessions: don’t post embarassing photos to the internet, and if you do, don’t leave phone messages to the people who end up mocking them.

Now then, a bit of fun!

Obsessive fan or stupid fun? (Flash required)
This made me laugh.
Stores like these seem to have heavily influenced my taste in buildings.
What, no Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?
Very, very cool music video (Flash required)

Have a great weekend, everyone! For Bon and I, it's our 16th wedding anniversary weekend. We still haven't managed to destroy marriage! Slackers.

Cheers,
Gwen

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Friday, May 16, 2008

Posted: 7:16:00 AM
I’ve seen this Twilight Zone episode, before — do I have to live it, too?

My G-ddess, it’s been hot here. around 80 degrees when we went to bed last night. Not fun!

I did get one very good piece of news last night: thanks to the CA supreme court, my sisters-of-choice Heather and Christine are going to make honest women out of each other. I’ll be officiating. I’m so very excited for them! More on that soon.

Meanwhile, it’s Friday. Here’s some fun, starting with an asshat. A precious little snowflake stepped in some dog poo. This mother’s reaction? Sue the city!

And here’s a few fun links to finish out the work week:

Your kids will glow with delight!
Because who hasn’t been kidnapped by lesbian pirates?
The only endorsement that matters.
Related to the last link
This must be where I first heard of Philip Glass (Flash required; thanks, Jenn!)
Now this is a catalog I’d like to shop in!

And now, I wish ya’ll a fond weekend! Also, I’ve started to use the ol’ twitter — if you want, you can follow my exploits there, too!

Cheers,
Gwen

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Thursday, May 15, 2008

Posted: 10:15:00 AM
No sooner posted...

Woot!

OVERTURNED!

Cheers,
Gwen

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Posted: 10:07:00 AM
Sing along, okay?

Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait...

Cheers,
Gwen

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Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Posted: 7:50:00 AM
One of H.P. Lovecraft’s lesser-known works, “The Eldritch Quaternion”

Where to start.

Shortly after getting home on Monday, an altercation sprung up outside. Turns out my next-door neighbor had called the cops on one of the “kids” that hangs around on the street and the cops who responded found ecstasy and needles on his person. Not sure how he intended to use one with the other, of course. Anyway, said neighbor was being accused of “racist hate crimes” for calling the cops. I’m sure I’d be accused of the same for calling the cops over this incident, too.

Anyway, I head for the car yesterday to head into SF, and discover that one of my tires is flat. Not the best way to start my day. A trip to the local drugstore for some Fix-A-Flat — which I don’t like using all that much, but it was the best option given the circumstances — and I was on the road.

My first stop — well, after a brief pit stop for happy feline goodness — was the home of Carolene Marks. She’s the wife of former Sen. Milton Marks, and has his own political cache. She gathered about 10 folks from transgender and health related fields to talk about issues of health care for transgender people, largely focused on cancer issues for same. A really healthy discussion followed, no pun intended. It will be interesting to see where it goes from here.

Ms. Marks is also a very gracious hostess, cut from the old school. I felt very welcomed in her home.

From there, it was an F line ride down near pier 17, and I headed to another couple of friends. Well, first I took a stop at a small coffee and sandwich place on Battery Street, and took a few photos of the business across the street while sipping a thai iced tea. Because I’m a geek. The business in question is Linden Lab. It’s a beautiful brick building, and I do intend to use some of those photos to make for some nice brick textures for use within their product, Second Life.

Anyway, my friends live off Filbert Street. This is not a street in the conventional sense, but a series of steps leading you up the sheer side of Telegraph Hill. It’s really a gorgeous place up there, even if that walk is a bit of a workout. Lord and lady know I need it.

I was a bit early, which was expected, and enjoyed their deck for a while. The view of the San Francisco Bay was stunning, especially on what was a beautiful spring day in Sodom by the sea.

After their arrival, we had a lot of fun catching up — with a twist. We socialized both in the real world and within Second Life, while also blogging and/or twittering. It’s interesting to have several different levels of interaction going on at the same time. I imagine that if one had not spent the amount of time behind keyboards as myself and they have, it could have been difficult. They were gracious and fun, and I look forward to times around them in the future.

Cheers,
Gwen

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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Posted: 5:06:00 PM
I could get used to this

I’ll do a proper update soon, but I had to post this now.

I am currently sitting on the porch of a house on telegraph hill, overlooking the San Francisco Bay. It’s about 65–70 degrees out here, and fairly clear. I’m in a cozy spot of shade. There’s remarkably little traffic noise — the loudest things around me right now is a flock of wild parrots that strafes me from time to time.

The view of the bay

This I like.

Cheers,
Gwen

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Monday, May 12, 2008

Posted: 2:15:00 PM
You take the good, you take the bad, you take the rest and then you have... my weekend

A mixed bag o’ stuff.

Had a knock on the door on Friday night from East Bumblefuck’s finest. A neighbor’s house was broken into while he was away, and quite a bit of stuff was stolen. Johnny wanted to know if we’d seen or heard anything which, no, we did not. An hour later another neighbor came to call, to let us know several things:

1. This was recent break-in #4 in the neighborhood,

2. The houses across the street are illegally being rented to section 8 renters,

3. Some of same are selling drugs,

4. A neighborhood girl was stabbed at the local (around the corner) pool, possibly by some of these same folks,

5. The HOA is doing nothing about this, and

6. There’s a meeting on Thursday to try to force eviction precedings.

Sounds like we might be busy on Thursday night.

I also had an IM conversation with a friend who is a former employee of Preferred Job #1. The conversation started with, “I got to see a position announcement at my current job the other day and thought of you. I didn’t know if you’re looking. Are you?” I let her know that yes indeedy, I am. I’ll likely be meeting up with her tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, if I may jump out of chronological order, I’m taking it off. I’m actually — hold onto your hats — involving myself with some local transactivism work. First time I’ve dug into that in two years. I guess I’ve missed it, a bit. We'll see after tomorrow.

Anyway, it was otherwise a fairly low-impact weekend. A fair amount of Second Life as well as some time spent watching Independence Day (plot holes you could fly a UFO though, but still as fun as always) and Cars (obvious plot, but still very likable). Downtime, but all-too-short downtime.

Oh, and today I had my first annual evaluation at the place where I’ve been for two years. I “meet or exceed standards.” Go me! It was telling, however, when my boss said, “I’m happy to have you here — but I don’t think you’re happy to be here.” Hmn.

Cheers,
Gwen

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Thursday, May 08, 2008

Posted: 8:42:00 AM
“I want everything to be ‘sparklicious’”

I wrote up this big, long, somewhat whinge-y post yesterday, and then lost it in a dramatic copy/paste disaster. Emergency crews from five different counties were called in. Honestly, you did not want to read it anyway. I know I didn’t.

I had a good meeting inworld the other day with another, major content creator. I’ll be working with her team on a build for a major university. It’s all pay on completion, and the ink is still wet on the contract, so this is still some time off yet. My primary business partner also has a couple big contracts in the pipeline. This is a good thing but, too, is not gonna happen right away. I was also having a wee bit of a crises of faith last night, being unsure if I’d even be able to pull of the particulars with the university job.

The position I’m gunning for is one I’ve been told many times will require some poking and patience to get, with 12 weeks from tendering a résumé being considered typical — and a high tendency for cracks to be fallen into.

All the while, things continue to get interesting — in a Chinese curse sort of way — in my day job. Not much I can really share, however.

I’ve been tired this week, too. While I still have a hot spark in my hands, my body is largely disagreeing with the use of same. I now know the origin of the phrase “bone tired,” as I’ve been feeling weariness that deep below the flesh. Yesterday evening, I could hardly move, as my right hip had all-but-seized. Not good.

Cheers,
Gwen

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Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Posted: 7:43:00 AM
Time Sheets for No One

I am so beat today. I feel like I could sleep for days. I knew I pushed it this weekend, but I had no idea how much!

Anyway, timesheets and reports await. We seem to be nearly caught up here at the ol’ day job, which might mean some down time this afternoon. Keep your fingers crossed. Of course, this means I’ll simply spend that time prepping content for some mock advertisements for one of my Second Life clients. That's the fun stuff, though.

Been having an odd problem with one of my web clients, too. I’m seeing all their content updated, but they’re still seeing the old version. I’m assuming they must have a heck of a cache on their side of things.

One of these days, soon, I need to do some webwork for myself. I’m very, very behind on posting my Transmissions columns!

Now, on to timesheets. Tra la.

Cheers,
Gwen

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Monday, May 05, 2008

Posted: 12:25:00 PM
You’ve got to hide your lag away

Lesee...

We did the provision run as per usual, but with an added stop at the annual Mustang Show and Shine. While I am a dyed in the tuck-and-roll vinyl Rambler kind of girl, I always wanted a ‘66 ‘stang as a kid — and given that this show is all of a mile from home, how could I not take a peek!

Shoe photos will come later, I hope. They’re on my camera still. Take my word for it, there were some nice looking cars. There was a gorgeous, fully restored 1968 California Special Mustang that caught my eye and would not let go. Bon noticed that said vehicle was gold with a white top, which might explain the fascination.

I do have to wonder what the market thinks of some of our purchases: amongst other items we had tortillas, chilies, kosher salt, macaroons, gumbo file, and greens. Why stick to one cultural dining option?

I spent much of the rest of the weekend talking. Well, typing, but after more than a decade of newsgroups, AOL chat rooms, bulletin board systems, weblogs, instant messaging, and talking in Second Life, it feels as natural as utterances across lips. I was mostly talking to current and (hopefully) future contacts about a job I’m eyeing.

Speaking of workstuff, Bon asked me more than a couple times this weekend when I might be giving my notice. I think she’s serious! It’s put me in the surprising position of being the one who is defending my current job. Ironic, perhaps, but I tend to have a strong leaning towards loyalty. I don’t understand it either.

Meanwhile, have I mentioned that k.d. lang has some new music out? I positively love her cover of Hallelujah. It makes me swoon. Then again, she has a tendency to do that to me. She simply has such a beautiful voice!

Oh, and one more thing. http://twitter.com/gwenners. Anyone else?

Cheers,
Gwen

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Friday, May 02, 2008

Posted: 7:33:00 AM
I’ve been to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU, but I've never been to me

Ya, so given how many actual content posts I’ve had this week, why not a couple links to end the week. You know, for fun. On Friday. What a novel concept.

And hey, here’s a thought. Let’s start it off with someone who did something really dumb. I know, I’ll call them an asshat, just for fun. I’m thinking of, oh, anyone who bought this watch. Because when you’re going to pay that kind of money, it had better tell time.

Now the fun:

Some old favorite Kids in the Hall. I wish I had a downloadable copy of this.

The Nightstalker had custom stationary?

Death of a meme... or a beginning?

A wise concept, well worth a ponder

One very cool Mac Mini

And that’s that, at least for now! Have a good weekend!

Cheers,
Gwen

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Thursday, May 01, 2008

Posted: 3:10:00 PM
Short sharp shock

I don’t know where it came from, but this afternoon, I have felt more energy in me than I have in years. Felt like I was gonna blow the light bulbs, ya know?

Cheers,
Gwen

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Posted: 11:52:00 AM
Programming note

I’ve discovered my feed solution, and am moving this blog to a different, more reliable RSS solution. As has happened before, I expect this to end up duplicating content from this blog into various places — most notably LiveJournal and Facebook.

This should be the last time I’ll have to do this in a Good Long While.

The feed address? feed://www.gwensmith.com/weblog/rss.xml or feed://www.gwensmith.com/weblog/atom.xml

Make a note of it, as they said on 411.

Cheers,
Gwen

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Posted: 9:57:00 AM
“Where would we be if we didn’t follow the correct procedures?”

I should be typing right now. Come to think of it, I am — I’m just on break. It’s Beltane, and historically I’ve taken the day off. I didn’t get the chance this year and, when I think about it, I’ve not gotten much of a chance over the last two years to take off the days I’ve typically taken off.

For the record, those days would be April 16th, May 1st, May 23rd, July 22nd, October 31st, and November 20th. That’s two birthdays, and anniversary, two religious holidays, and the Transgender Day of Remembrance.

Last night, Bon asked me a question, “have you given your notice yet?”

I told her I hadn’t — as if she would not be amongst the first to know. I’m gun shy of just up and leaving without at least something to back me up. I have the Second Life content building, but as someone who has freelanced for more than a decade, I know what a cycle of feast or famine that can be. I want something a bit more stable than that, ya know?

That’s why I keep doing this job, typing my day away with stories of weldments and concrete slumps, on reports that will be forgotten as soon as they’re processed and sent. It feels very dystopian, like a cut scene from Brazil staged within my cubicle.

It all comes down to a paycheck. That, to me, is something sad. I feel a bit trapped into it, though. We’ve got to pay the rent, the bills, and all that.

Aside: I was trying to find a reference to put in there (about depriving an American of money causes them to act as a lunatic), but instead came across this classic bit of R.A. Wilson. He was a smart man. I wonder what he’d say about the passing of Albert Hofmann.

Bon, meanwhile made it clear last night. She doesn’t like to see me this stressed, this down, this exhausted.

Really the biggest issue with this place is that it is simply not a good fit for me. I can and do the job, but it lacks the ability to be creative. I cannot show my passion here. I can type — my high school typing teacher, Mr. Nissley would be shocked — but I can do so much more. I need more of a challenge. I need a position with some level of social interaction.

Ironically, my work-fu has been strong this week. All the while I fret over my résumé, firmly ensconced in a stack with a billion other people who are most likely as equally passionate as I am about the position.

Anyway, enough time on all that. It is Beltane, and while I did enjoy some time with a virtual bonfire last night, I am looking for more. The wheel turns, and I’m turning with it. It is a time to be bold, to cast off my doubts... and dance.

“And now I’m dancing, and all the blood in my body has turned to music.” — R. Cowell

Cheers,
Gwen

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All text copyright © Gwen Smith, not for republication without permission.


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